Wednesday, September 5, 2012

Changed

It's amazing how time flies. The dichotomy of a vivid memory: so crisp and so clear it could be yesterday, yet so far away that you hardly recognize the you that appears through the mist of the mind. I think less and less about my surgery these days and I'm grateful I wrote it all down when I realize its ability to leave me, the sands of time running through my fingers into a pile on the ground from which it came. So much has changed from those days, yet somehow I feel the same. Changed. No longer who I used to be, I'm complete. Whole. Erica 2.0.

I made a friend last night who's only beginning her journey. I recognized the fear, anticipation, excitment, anxiety, elation and terror that played across her face in concert, all at once. She's going to have my surgery, our surgery. Anyone who's followed this blog has gone through this surgery with me; I was never alone. Whether it was prayers, good vibes, healing energy or something else, all that you sent me forever altered my life in such an amazing way. Now I pray for her, I send her good mojo and healing energy. I had such an amazing experience and I can't wait for her to have the same, for her to find her new life.

6 comments:

  1. Your words could never have captured the true feelings that hit me everyday. The thought that this could be the end to a lifetime of epilepsy of what I have only known. I found great comfort in our talks and continure to find even better comfort that I made the right choice in going through the the brave decision of brain surgery. Thanks for sharing your story it means more to me than words can explain!

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  2. alright i love that you are in a positive state of mind but you make it sound like everyone should have surgery and it's going to work out great for them just like it did for you. I know someone who went through it, without any luck. She had her next seizure a week after surgery. I was seizure free 5 years, did firefighting, EMT and my seizures came back worse than ever. Now I sometimes come out of them and don't remember anything, including my fiancee for days. Im not saying not to be positive. You make it sound like it works for everyone. I just dont want people getting wrong impression its good to get allot of testing and stuff done before and talk to people with good and bad results. Its always good to know both sides of the story. I will say i am very glad it worked out for you enjoy every bit of it!!

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    Replies
    1. Chris, you are absolutely right, surgery is not for everyone. There are some of us for whom it has been a miracle, but there are many more for whom it is not the right choice. For a while there was a good chance that I wasn't even a candidate and a smaller chance that this would really work! Fortunately for me it has, but epilepsy is a tricky and finniky thing; no two people's seizures are exactly the same so no two treatment plans will be exactly the same. That said, if someone thinks they might be a candidate and are at the point where they're interested, asking their neurologist for more information and his or her opinion can't hurt.

      I'm so sorry that you struggle with your epilepsy and I pray that your seizures go away again.

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