It's hot here today. I open the door to my car and the air ripples like water, distorting the images behind it and hitting me with a wall of heat. As much as I feel bad about escaping the beautiful sun to sit in front of my air conditioner with the blinds closed, I do so because I don't do well in heat. As the temperature rises, I get lightheaded and weak. I have to stand up slowly, often holding on to something so I don't fall over. Instead, I sit on my couch with my computer and take a cold shower before going to bed and trying to fall asleep. I feel guilty, but not guilty enough.
Mild allergies notwithstanding, I've been feeling pretty great lately. Any headaches I get are focused on the left side and go away quickly with Tylenol. Slowly but surely, my bone is growing back. It's a wonderful feeling to not miss the hours spent on my couch or in bed nursing a pain that won't go away. I'm really here. I never thought this day would come.
Yesterday, I spent the day helping John pack cardboard boxes from a coworker and colorful bins from Home Depot full of his worldly possessions and label each with its contents and Storage or Not Storage. I lifted, carried and sweat through trips to and from the car, apartment and storage unit. And I felt great.
Recovery has been a long road, full of setbacks, frustrations and disappointments, but I feel like I'm really here, on the other side of it. I'm still careful with myself, observing my one year embargo on biking, skiing, tubing, etc., but I can lift, hike and concentrate and actively function for a whole day. I'm finally back.
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